My Hobbies Make Me Feel Like Shit

I’ve have interests. I used to play a video game at a very high competitively, I like chess, I like reading, I like playing guitar.

My problem is every time I try to do these things or practice these things I get these extreme highs and lows. If things are going well, I feel great. When they go poorly, I feel absolutely miserable, and I quit. It makes me really afraid to start pursuing my hobbies because I’m afraid I’ll have a bad day.

I just want something that makes me feel good, but it seems like everything becomes some kind of competition even in things where that doesn’t really make any sense. I think the best example is reading. Reading is not a competition. I could take as long as I want to read a book and no one would care, but every time I open a new book, I find myself thinking about how I am wasting my time because I won’t remember the information in the book or someone else would read this book faster and get more out of it. It’s really discouraging, and when it happens I fond myself retreating into scrolling endlessly on social media because that’s just an easy thing to do that is totally unchallenging.

Does anyone else get these feelings?

My Hobbies Make Me Feel Like Shit