i broke up from serious relationship, i tried date again and i am done with dating for good, hookups are the only way

So i will not say details about my ex girlfriend we both quilty for what happened it was beautiful and toxic times at the same time. getting okay with it after 3 months but shit still hurts as fuck sometimes.
we even texted with ex . she kept saying she have someone cuz she cannot be alone and love me but for our good she will not come back to me even she miss me and see that i have bit glow up and shit togheter in my life more than ever and that she would like my new me. But this story is about what happened to me when i started date another girls. i had few hookups which is normal but 2 really strange relationships, before i start i am 25 theese two girla were 18 dont know if it have smth with generation or smth else, last thing i am still broken and love my ex, only reason i am trying be better is just to runaway from thoughts about her. And two relationships i am going to talk about hurted little bit but i got protection cuz my heart is craving for my ex.

Chapter one : Emo girl

It started as a normal hookup, this girl texted me didnt even asked and i got rewarded with nudes in one hour into conversation, she provided me with kinks and fetishes which i liked and never got from any woman . I said to myself okay nudes so soon without asking i will have hookup and will not think about ex. she was really into my memes and stuff, okay maybe we we will get along with each other leta give it a shot. We met second day, she came to me rly shy, sat rly close to me, firts thing i noticed was her beautiful blue eyes ehich pierced my heart for moment ngl. i took her with car to one lake near city where is beautiful . i wanted walk she didnt, we talked a bit and i said to myself i cant fuck this young girl she innocent but at the same time her nudes and kinks she was talking about i was confused. short story short we fucked on backseats in like in hour of our conversation in car. sex was the most fire i ever had, and i had it quite lot in my life, :D transforming into a fuckboi everytime i am out of serious relationship just to cure my depression,

After sex i wanted go smoke, she didnt let me looked in my eyes and said that stupid thing, i love you, i never replied, i felt dumb even for her dude we know rach other 1 hour. days was passing and we been spending lots and lots of hours in my car driving to special places listening to songs laughing rly hard and of course fucking. i started have ilusion like wow we rly into each other. then after like a week shit started happening. she works as a nurse in hospital, she met there one 17 years old pacient and she texted me about him while i was at work like: i think i found a new bf. i was like nice joke dude didnt make any drama from it, she stared sending me his photos and mocking him example: look at this cute Little incel virgin he so fucking cringy and ugly. again thought it was bit rude but okay we met after our work and things went pretty normaly as usual she kept saying me she love me she were really cuddly but at the same time texted with this pacient and was showing me how she is making fun from him. this shit was more intense every day i heard more and more about him and how bad he is. . when she texted him she ending. then she ignored me all day i was like okay this is getting weird. at evening she texted me i love this incel guy i feel for him i was like okay laughed at her and said i dont care. in our short past i told her i am suicidal and miss ex just to be fair with her. she turned into complete sociopat and started and started using my own pain to make me feel bad. she was talking how she is only girl i can have and i will kill mysef if i will nkt have her. simply i blocked her, second day i unblocked her and wrote her just if she want fuck, this meeting was smth different that it was as usual.
we been friendly but her mask of loving me was completely gone, we fucked without any emotions and that was all this continued 3 next days. at last day she had the audacity to call this young guy seconds before we fucked cuz he was already in love with her. i went home texted her i have enough, i am ending and i will warn this guy before u will hurt him i was caring about him and i knew this girl will hurt him. when she saw i am not hurt that she is going to meet with him soo she started with personal insults, saying me to kill myself and other bullshit including threathening to my life and social life. i blocked her never heard about her since. i warned this 17 yo guy and he didnt believed me, wrote him as a friend ended up like fool, not my problem end of first story

Chapter 2: beautiful natural redhead

after few hookups i started texting with this beautiful redhead girl. she was really strange and her words were poetic. she wanted runaway. she asked me you want to have sex with me? i answered of course glad to do it. she replied take me to *name of on country which i will not include* and i will fuck with you. i was like okay another hookup but i will get her without this roadtrip. we met, took her in car to the same lake as emo girl. there is abandoned electric plant which we wanted explore we had agreement we would like to start doing urban exploring togheter before our trip to her dream country. we been meeting for like a week and then we had our first kiss. i never told her i am broken, i played it as a cool guy and she liked it about me . she told me about her history with guys, one guy was guy she loved but they never dated it was just short fly with him,. second guy, 35 years old lawyer she fucked for money,. her relationship witha him was like she dont need him he keep hitting her up but she showed me all text and never even opened them, she didnt meet with him 2 months. i was like okay as long as she dont speak with him, i am cool but she did one thing, she deleted his number from whatsapp and blocked him. i didnt asked for it but i was glad. after week she said she is going to meet ine beautiful foreign guy. i was a bit jealous so i said i am leaving. she met with him anyways and made me sure with her milion msgs it was just pure and she like to meet new people. i forgave and we kept meeting slowly falling into each other.

The crash

after 2 weeks of beautiful dates and lot of explored abadoned buildings. we crashed togheter in car, she liked how fast i drive and was first female i ever seen calm when i was driving 200 trough backroads, and i was depressed fast driving was escape from ex for me. we crashed it could be fatal, car was totally fucked up but nothing happened to us. we still dint have nothing more than kisses and it was pure. we crashed and first thing we did when we jumped out of car was kiss and exchanging words i love you to each other. she hit her head bit hard so i called ambulance and she had to spend few days in hospital just to be sure. we texted theese days beautiful things to each other, we went rly well with each other too irl too but real connection started when i was left without a car. we met we had most beautiful time spent in forrest and then we climbed to big factory chimney and kissed there. after that i wanted take taxi and she said i can go home with her. she is 18 living with parents, they are very religious. she introduced me and they were shocked as i was first ever guy she brought home to introduce. i drinked some whiskey with her father he was really nice to me and treated me with respect even i crashed car with his daughter. then i went to sleep with her in her room. i ate her pussy and we cuddled a lot. she said i cant stay cuz of parents so i took taxi. felt in love and like king kf the world smoked home some weed and chilled with music with my head in clouds. this could be it my savior from suicidal thoughta and from ex. we started meeting almost every day made lot of shit togheter made grafity on walls togheter, fucked on factory chimney fucked beside railway in the middle of nowhere and people from train seen us. we were living our best times. when suddenly. she is again going to meet some 40 years old politic, she defended herself she wsnt just to listrn to people that can teach her smth, i was teasing her that i may leave and this is not smth i am happy with. at the day of her meeting i was in work. she had school til 16:00 i called her at 17:00 she was rude and said me she is in hurry and dont have time for me. i was like okay bye. thought i dont want see her anymore. 17:30 she called me. where are you? i said i am heading home from work why. she said this guy was boring i want be with you. i said not today i already have plans and ended call. she then wrote me i am ending fuck you. i was really suprised girl which love me and is really into me will say such a thing. i wrote her some romantic msgs about how i feel goof with her. she didnt responded all day. day after i wrote her 17:00 at our spot i am waiting. i was left on seen. i came to our spot at 17:00 waited and she came as beautiful as always. i said her sorry if i was too harsh to her she could not keep it and was haply to see me and that i fought for her. after week of magical dates and lot of sex. we met again, went to one lake togheter smoked joint had our usual conversations out of this world, place had vibe like shire from lord of the rings. she was sitting on me and kissed me it was first time after break up when i felt loved and electricity went trough my body, it was just usual slow kiss but we looked into each other eyes and we been in true love. then she told me, you know that day when i dumped you, my plan was meet this guy see if he is interesting and if not i wanted fuck with you you made me angry that u wanted leave me and i when u didnt care i called lawyer i was fucking with before you. she fucked with him. she expected me to understand it but i felt broken. i said i never want to see you again, stood up and i saw tears in her eyes i left without words. this happened few hours ago. she was apologizing to me trought texts and she writing me rn she dont want lose me. FUCK MY life i will never fall for no one anymore i am disqusted and dissapointed.

end of the story

i broke up from serious relationship, i tried date again and i am done with dating for good, hookups are the only way